1. “Would I say something so hateful to a person I love?”
If you called your best friend an ugly loser who will never amount to anything, how do you think they would react? I bet they would get upset, and maybe even terminate your friendship for being so thoughtless. True friends are willing to offer feedback without mincing words if they feel it is necessary for your personal development, but they don’t do so in a condescending or hateful fashion. Treat yourself likewise, because lasting change cannot come from a place of self-hate.
2. “How would it make me feel if my boss or mentor called me a loser?”
If you make a mistake during your work-day, could you imagine your manager screaming at you for being so stupid? I doubt it, because most people in positions of authority understand the power of positive psychology. Great leaders deliver constructive criticism that empowers their followers to improve, without making them feel like they can’t do anything right. Treat yourself likewise, because it is much more productive to focus on finding solutions than it is to obsess with your shortcomings.
3. “When has stressing out about a mistake ever made me feel better about myself?”
If you spend all of your time stressing out about an unfortunate situation, do you really think you’re going to be able to motivate yourself to find a way out of it? I don’t like your odds, because negative thoughts don’t tend to translate into positive transformation. Positive people don’t subject themselves to a chorus of self-defeating thoughts, because they know they can do anything they set their mind to. Treat yourself likewise, because consistent effort and a refusal to quit is an unbeatable formula for massive success.
4. “Does it really make any sense to agonize over a decision that cannot be reversed?”
If you consume yourself in depressing thoughts about past events that can’t be undone, do you really think you will ever find the courage to get over it? I know dealing with regret is easier said than done, but you have to develop mental strength today if you want to move forward into a brighter tomorrow. Mentally strong people don’t dwell on past mistakes, because they know the important thing is to make better decisions in the future. Treat yourself likewise, because you must manage your emotions if you want to be happy and successful.
5. “If I’m willing to forgive others for their flaws, why should I expect perfection of myself?”
If you accept other people despite their flaws, don’t you think you should be more forgiving of yourself? I am fascinated by how much easier it is to forgive another person than it is to forgive ourselves. Highly confident people don’t judge other people, because there is more than enough darkness in the world; instead, they strive to be a source of light. Treat yourself likewise, because you won’t achieve much progress worth talking about until you learn how to accept yourself.
Please stop beating yourself up. Life is too short for anxiety and regret. Feel free to share this article with anyone who might find it helpful.
Featured photo credit: I Died So I Could Haunt You/Helga Weber via flickr.com
